Stripper Saga

Well, Beth asked me to be a stripper in her student film last month. I said yes, because I love Beth to death and I owe her HUGELY for all her great work as our SGA representative last semester. And now, my part of the filming is over and I am here to tell you all about it!

Beth is a student director at SMSU and works for the Growl (her show, Less Than Zero, is Tuesday and Thursday from 11a-12p) , where we love her to death. Beth needed lots of extras for her film, and she looked not only to her circle of theater and media friends, but also to the Growl. Enter Bitter the Clown, another faithful Growl producer (his show, Bitter the Clown's Happy Fun-Time Show, is on Wednesdays from 8p-10p). Bitter is, well, bitter, and this is probably due to a lack of sex. Or possibly childhood trauma; it depends on what time of day you ask him. Now, when presented with an option such as, "Would you like to sit around my movie set and watch scantily clad women posing as strippers for a few hours? I'll provide lunch.", Bitter was understandably - ahem - attentive. After excusing himself for a few minutes of "alone" time, he readily agreed.

Bitter and I go way back, to two years ago when he started off at the Growl. Bitter joined our organization because we were broadcasting from the Atrium of Strong Hall here at the SMSU campus and he saw a hot chick and decided he should sign up. Later on he found out that the "hot chick" was really me dressed in my famous Supermodel suit (made from real supermodels), but he had already been initiated and branded, so there was no escape.

Well, skip forward about a year and a half, and suddenly the Growl is in peril. I am the station manager and I need someone to do important tasks for me; namely training and fending off idiocy. Bitter cleverly avoids eye contact and communication, until I beg him to engineer the volleyball games. Seizing any opportunity, Bitter demands sexual favors for his manual labor. I readily agree, knowing that Bitter's massive porno collection will never allow him to take on external partners.

As the day of filming approached, I told Chambers that we had to go to the store and buy some lingerie for my debut on the strip club scene. As I finished the sentence, the car horn honked and he was impatiently gesturing for me to get into the car. At the store, I looked at sexy lingerie while he went straight to the "Slut-O-Matic" section. After a brief discussion, which consisted mostly of me saying, "I'm not buying five bustiers," we paid and left. After modeling (and breaking Chambers' hand every time he tried to touch me), I prepared for the shoot.

...more to come...