People don't change, they just get older

Man, my dad is freakin' old. He turned 80 today (he was 55 when I was born), and we (my family) went out to eat at Cielito Lindo's for Mexican. Never eat out with your parents. In fact, this is what I recommend to students who will be or are recently graduated from high school:

1) Get your parents DSL, cable, broadband, or some form of high-speed internet access and, most importantly, make sure they know how to use it. Ask your potential ISP if their service will support video conferencing. If your parents can see you once in a while and verify that you haven't done anything too drastic to yourself, they will be less likely to interfere in your life, giving you more time to do what you need to do.

2) Move out of state immediately following graduation (or immediately if you have already graduated). If you plan on going to college, find an out-of-state one. If you don't, find an out-of-state career, or enroll in a college for the first semester and find a job. Become a roadie, join the circus, see the nation, whatever you have to do. Moving out is like pulling off a band-aid, if you do it slowly, you suffer even slower. Ripping those parental ties right out makes the scars heal faster.

3) Talk to your parents at least once a week, and keep the conversations between ten (10) and fifteen (15) minutes. Anything less and your parents will get suspicious (and suspicion eventually leads to a face-to-face session), anything more and you'll be wishing you hadn't. This length gives you plenty of time to get through the small talk ("How's sis?" "She's fine, still dating Jeffrey...") and the gossip, and doesn't give the parents enough time to press the really hard issues. When there's an unnatural pause, its probably time to get off the phone. Be nice though.

4) Visit on holidays. I know it sucks, and the only consultation I can give you is you get to put your kids through it someday. But until then, if you want to keep the 'rents out of your grill, you have to show up to these events. Smile, let Uncle Artie pinch your cheek, let distant elderly relatives refer to you as long-dead ancestors, and thank your parents for the privilege. Trust me, they'll be so happy that someone's not screaming at them they won't have time to wonder why you've been wearing long sleeves and sniffing an awful lot.

Your parents will always embarrass you, but if you don't live somewhere that they can force you to be seen in public with them, the embarrassment is down to a manageable level.