Save a tree and quit delivering phone books

Dear Phone Company,

Please don't send me any more phone books. I have enough. Four really is my limit. Please donate my excess phone books to a family in need; I'm sure they can use them for heating fuel.

I have one from you, Phone Company, and one from your rival, and one from your rival's rival. I even have the reverse lookup phone book, where the numbers are listed rather than the names.

All the same numbers appear in each of my phone books, and since I only have one phone, I think perhaps that four is enough. I keep one in my car for a booster seat, one in my kitchen for a trivet, one in my bedroom for a makeshift pillow, and one by the phone for, well, looking up numbers.

All my phone book needs are covered, and if I happen to misplace any of my phone books, I always have the internet. Thank you all the same.

Me