Really now, those Catholics better watch what they're doing.
Springfieldians are such funny people. Funny ha ha, and funny weird, incidentally.
On another note, I have made a Flickr group (Flickr is a photo sharing site - waaaay better than Hello) about history. Its called "Antiquity Abating" and you can check it out here. The pictures, as of this writing, are all mine.
4.23.2005
Stuff from today I
Christians burn pagans for their sinfulness, whereas Pagans burn Christians for warmth.
***
Terrorism: "The calculated use of violence or threat of violence to attain goals that are political, religious, or ideological in nature."-US Army Operation Manual, 525-37
***
Language is a virus and religion is an operating system and prayers are just so much fucking spam. - American Gods, Neil Gaiman
***
Terrorism: "The calculated use of violence or threat of violence to attain goals that are political, religious, or ideological in nature."-US Army Operation Manual, 525-37
***
Language is a virus and religion is an operating system and prayers are just so much fucking spam. - American Gods, Neil Gaiman
4.21.2005
More fucking Daylight Savings Time??
When people go through the ritual of moving their clocks forward each spring ushering in daylight-saving time, they're also saving energy - the equivalent of thousands of barrels of oil, in fact. Congress says a good thing can be made better.
Okay, I know that not everyone "celebrates" DST, like Maine. What about them? Are we considering all the facts?
"We all just feel sunnier after we set the clocks ahead,"
Ah, yes, it makes me feel ever so much better to know that our lawmakers are using such intelligent adjectives to describe such important and life-changing policy.
"In addition to the benefits of energy savings," he said, it means "less crime, fewer traffic fatalities, more recreation time and increased economic activity. Daylight savings just bring a smile to everybody's face."
How the fuck will there be less crime? More darkness=more crime. Criminals like the dark, idiots, ask the police. And how are there fewer traffic fatalities? Where are the substantiating facts? Why not just say that increasing DST will stop terrorism, decrease pre-marital sex, solve the abortion issue, and turn gay people straight? Fuck.
Okay, I know that not everyone "celebrates" DST, like Maine. What about them? Are we considering all the facts?
"We all just feel sunnier after we set the clocks ahead,"
Ah, yes, it makes me feel ever so much better to know that our lawmakers are using such intelligent adjectives to describe such important and life-changing policy.
"In addition to the benefits of energy savings," he said, it means "less crime, fewer traffic fatalities, more recreation time and increased economic activity. Daylight savings just bring a smile to everybody's face."
How the fuck will there be less crime? More darkness=more crime. Criminals like the dark, idiots, ask the police. And how are there fewer traffic fatalities? Where are the substantiating facts? Why not just say that increasing DST will stop terrorism, decrease pre-marital sex, solve the abortion issue, and turn gay people straight? Fuck.
Christianity at work
I heard an amazing statement at school today. Remember, I go to a conservative school in the midwest, in the buckle of the Bible belt.
As I was walking along our new Public Affairs monument, a ridiculously grandiose "flagway" with the flags of 120 countries flapping over my head like so many carrion crows after the war (we like to call it the IHOF), I overheard one of our professors as he was having a conversation about religion in collegiate America. Lifting his hands to the sky, encompassing all 120 flags and the majority of our campus, his frustrated voice carried across the sidewalk, "This is Christianity at work."
As I was walking along our new Public Affairs monument, a ridiculously grandiose "flagway" with the flags of 120 countries flapping over my head like so many carrion crows after the war (we like to call it the IHOF), I overheard one of our professors as he was having a conversation about religion in collegiate America. Lifting his hands to the sky, encompassing all 120 flags and the majority of our campus, his frustrated voice carried across the sidewalk, "This is Christianity at work."
4.19.2005
I am so ashamed of what I ever called my own. Take what I have, take these broken remains...: i heart you
I am so ashamed of what I ever called my own. Take what I have, take these broken remains...: especially your boobs
I am so ashamed of what I ever called my own. Take what I have, take these broken remains...: but i like your personality a lot too
Ahh...true love. ;-)
I am so ashamed of what I ever called my own. Take what I have, take these broken remains...: especially your boobs
I am so ashamed of what I ever called my own. Take what I have, take these broken remains...: but i like your personality a lot too
Ahh...true love. ;-)
4.18.2005
Fighting the system is like tweezing hairs - tedious and pointless in the end
So, I found out today that the real problem with May Day is that no organization can have a cooler event booth than SAC (Student Activities Council). When you cut through all the bullshit, that's what it boils down to. So now we're stuck fucking doing their work instead of doing a cool event of our own.
What' s the point of fighting the system if you can't get anywhere? Today I also found out that the school put a camera in the studio, without informing us. Not that we could have fought them or even would have, but it would have been nice to fucking know.
Anyone have any suggestions for fighting the system and not killing yourself from futility in the process?
What' s the point of fighting the system if you can't get anywhere? Today I also found out that the school put a camera in the studio, without informing us. Not that we could have fought them or even would have, but it would have been nice to fucking know.
Anyone have any suggestions for fighting the system and not killing yourself from futility in the process?
Golden Palace Monkey - capitalism at its peak; could it really be all downhill from here?
"This species will bear our name for as long as it exists," GoldenPalace.com CEO Richard Rowe said in a statement. "Hundreds, even thousands of years from now, the GoldenPalace.com Monkey will live to carry our name through the ages."
Have you heard about the Golden Palace monkey? Read about it here. Find ways to kill yourself here.
Have you heard about the Golden Palace monkey? Read about it here. Find ways to kill yourself here.
4.07.2005
Chambers bought a fucking llama
A fucking llama! Actually, it isn't technically a fucking llama, since its too young yet, but you know. He's going to build a pen, apparantly. After we had the discussion about a llama not living in the house with 10 cats, 2 dogs, a leopard gecko, a lovebird, and 2 finches. It's not even like the animals that live in the house get along.
And tomorrow, my mom's going to sell her waterbucks and a nyala and buy a camel or three. Three fucking camels! Can you fucking believe it? Plus, my mom bought about 20 fucking mounts (mounted exotic animal heads).
This is just the briefest overview of my crazy week.
Quotations:
-
"You don't need a llama!"
"Look, you don't understand, we don't need [the animals], they need us."
-
"Gazelle."
"Impala."
"Whatever, just sell it."
(after 8 solid hours of auctioning off literally hundreds of mounts)
And tomorrow, my mom's going to sell her waterbucks and a nyala and buy a camel or three. Three fucking camels! Can you fucking believe it? Plus, my mom bought about 20 fucking mounts (mounted exotic animal heads).
This is just the briefest overview of my crazy week.
Quotations:
-
"You don't need a llama!"
"Look, you don't understand, we don't need [the animals], they need us."
-
"Gazelle."
"Impala."
"Whatever, just sell it."
(after 8 solid hours of auctioning off literally hundreds of mounts)
4.06.2005
Okay, okay, I'm slacking
Don't you think I know it too? Fuck.
I'm actually only slacking on my Blog. I have a zillion other things to do and the blog, even though it calms my nerves, just gets put aside every day. Not like anyone is reading it, but it does make me feel better, like my life is a little more in order and I can understand what's going on in my head. It's like sorting laundry: kinda soothing, if rather pointless.
I promise to write more tomorrow, after all, I'm in Macon, MO for an exotic animal auction. Chambers bought a tokay gecko, some Cuban tree frogs, and some lovebirds. He really wanted a Fennick fox, but they were too expensive. And spider monkeys are insanely priced now! A pair spider monkeys went for $5200 today. Fuck. You can't make that kind of money on crack. I mean from selling crack; of course you can't make that kind of money on crack. Unless you sucked a lot of cock.
I'm actually only slacking on my Blog. I have a zillion other things to do and the blog, even though it calms my nerves, just gets put aside every day. Not like anyone is reading it, but it does make me feel better, like my life is a little more in order and I can understand what's going on in my head. It's like sorting laundry: kinda soothing, if rather pointless.
I promise to write more tomorrow, after all, I'm in Macon, MO for an exotic animal auction. Chambers bought a tokay gecko, some Cuban tree frogs, and some lovebirds. He really wanted a Fennick fox, but they were too expensive. And spider monkeys are insanely priced now! A pair spider monkeys went for $5200 today. Fuck. You can't make that kind of money on crack. I mean from selling crack; of course you can't make that kind of money on crack. Unless you sucked a lot of cock.
4.02.2005
[exclamation point]
Hmmm. I noticed something annoying about my post titles; besides not being very clever, an abnormal number of them end with an exclamation point. Why the fuck is that? Why is it sooooo imperative that I end those particularly unwitty sentance fragments with that overused punctuation mark? It really annoys me when others do it, so I'm really confused as to why I would do the same thing.
But, I've decided it's a habit that needs to be broken. From now on, if I want/need an exclamation point in my posts, especially in my titles, I'm going to use the following: [exclamation point]. That's a lot more work than putting an actual exclamation point, so hopefully I'll be able to break myself of this annoying and useless habit [exclamation point]
But, I've decided it's a habit that needs to be broken. From now on, if I want/need an exclamation point in my posts, especially in my titles, I'm going to use the following: [exclamation point]. That's a lot more work than putting an actual exclamation point, so hopefully I'll be able to break myself of this annoying and useless habit [exclamation point]
World's Biggest Canvas
Thought I would share another picture with you. Look for pictures from the Drive-By Trucker concert to be posted soon, along with a detailed and boring saga regarding the trip and our plethora of crises that seemed to plague us.
420 squared A
This is a tiled background I made from my photos of...stuff. Most of the photos are my creation, except the Mona Lisa, the Joint Rollin Handbook, and the silver-looking leaf, to name the ones I know of. Other than that, they are pictures I took or made in Photoshop.
3.31.2005
Drive-By Truckers concert
Well, we're off to the Drive-By Truckers concert in Columbia, MO at the Blue Note. Tickets were only $12, which is pretty damn good these days. I'm looking forward to the concert. Until the update, check out DBT at the official site.
3.29.2005
Don't press that button!
Look, seriously, don't press the "Next Blog" button in the NavBar at the top of Blogger blogs. I've found that most of those blogs are just junk blogs, like the junk domains that simply list bullshit keywords over and over and over again, and don't even have any good links to the information anyway. Shit, if they were better than Google, I could almost understand it, but they never have any good info. But seriously, I spent like 15 minutes clicking "Next Blog" and I saw 2 "real" Blogs. Someone should put a stop to it, but there's no way you could enforce something like that. You'd have to have someone/thing reading the posted content for similarities to other posts, and that would cost money, which would eventually end up costing us, the users. Perhaps we need some nice hackers that will fix the problem for us....
I forgot to mention it...
...but my cat broke her leg. :-( To be more accurate, she broke her elbow. Imagine you slamming your elbow down on the table and breaking off the tip of it, and you'll understand how my cat feels. The vet set her leg with two pins and wire, gave her drugs, and said she'll have a cast on for ten weeks (that should give you an idea of the seriousness of the break). I took her in today to get the sutures out (its been 16 days), and the vet found out that the cat has somehow moved her broken leg around in the cast and has moved the bone fragment about half an inch. That's half an inch of pins and wires. So, I have to spend another huge amount of money (first operation: $500) and get her leg reset. All because the damned cat isn't smart enough to get out of the way of large moving objects, since I think our neighbors hit her with a four-wheeler. The things we do for our animals, you know? At least they aren't kids who will grow up, take your money, talk back to you, move out, then refuse to call. And if the cats do something bad, you can lock them in a room for a couple of hours and Social Services won't call you an "unfit parent." Pets are so much better than kids. Not that I would know, since I don't have any, but all the ones I know are way worse than my plethora of cats.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
Why is Blogger acting up so strangely? I've posted twice in the last three minutes, republished my entire blog, and still the post isn't showing up. What the goddamned hell is goin on here?????
Murphy's Law...of suckiness!
I had a long post here, and Blogger decided that I didn't need to post it. I fucking hate computers.
It was a huge rant about the upcoming Growl concert we're trying to put on and how much it is not coming together, but I guess the powers that be didn't like the tone of the article or some such crap, so they erased it as it was publishing. How do you like that? What the fuck? Murphy, you fucking creep, quit jinxing me so many years after the fact!
Long story short about the concert, the lineup has changed so many times due to the bands' family issues, signing issues, or just plain issues that I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore, except that Fallen From the Nest will be headlining and Business/Casualty will be playing second-to-last. If you're a band in the Springfield, MO area and want to be a part of this great oppotunity, email me at xtoqster[at]gmail[dot]com.
In other news, my mom's cat is going to have kittens. Want one? Email me. They should be here in about 3 weeks, and you could have them in 9 weeks. Get them while they last (free of course).
It was a huge rant about the upcoming Growl concert we're trying to put on and how much it is not coming together, but I guess the powers that be didn't like the tone of the article or some such crap, so they erased it as it was publishing. How do you like that? What the fuck? Murphy, you fucking creep, quit jinxing me so many years after the fact!
Long story short about the concert, the lineup has changed so many times due to the bands' family issues, signing issues, or just plain issues that I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore, except that Fallen From the Nest will be headlining and Business/Casualty will be playing second-to-last. If you're a band in the Springfield, MO area and want to be a part of this great oppotunity, email me at xtoqster[at]gmail[dot]com.
In other news, my mom's cat is going to have kittens. Want one? Email me. They should be here in about 3 weeks, and you could have them in 9 weeks. Get them while they last (free of course).
3.27.2005
Calendar Discrimination
Every day each of us, no matter our race, gender, or station in life, faces discrimination in some form. Much of it is subtle, much is systematic. We strive as individuals, communities, businesses, and nations to eradicate inequality wherever we may find it; to root it out and stab it in the neck with the pitchfork of equality until its terrified squeeks die away, then toss it on the burn pile with last night's garbage and have a beer while we watch the flames.
But today, I would like to shed light upon a discrimination that is quite overlooked, at least as far as Google and I can tell: "holiday discrimination." (the term only gets about 25 hits on Google, whereas "racial discrimination" gets 780,000, "age discrimination" 420,000, and "sexual discrimination" about 130,000.)
As I was perusing my calendar recently to see when Easter was, I noticed that Daylight Savings Time started on the same day, which I thought was kind of convenient, at least for my stoned ass. So, when I woke up today, I thought I had missed resetting my alarm and was an hour late getting on the road, which naturally pissed me off a little bit.
After freaking out for 10 minutes wondering why my computer and my satellite hadn't reset themselves like they normally do (which, frankly, is how I usually find out about Daylight Savings), I stomped up to the calendar, demanding to know what was going on...and that's when I noticed the italicized text below "Daylight Savings Begins" that read "U.K. only." Oh. And I suppose that's why it was italicized, huh? So I could fucking see it? Why the hell is the UK Daylight Savings Time on my fucking calendar?
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to know that Argentina's Holy Thursday is the 24th of March, the 26th of May is Corpus Christi in Germany, Liberation Day for Italy is April 25th, or Malaysia's Federal Territory Day is the 1st of February. But really, do we need these thing cluttering up our calendars?
I'm not saying that a few other holidays aren't a good thing, but really, I think in the interest of efficiency, we should make an effort to make calendars for specific people. We're just globalizing for no fucking reason. If I have to have Canadian and Mexican holidays on my calendar, I can deal with that, they're at least on the same continent as us, you can expect a little bit of globalization, but Argentina? Malaysia? Are we only including them because they make our crappy products for pennies on the dollar and the least we can do for them is include their holidays in the calendars they make? I'm sure that warms all the hearts of the underpaid and overworked 10-year-olds in the factories.
Why do we include the UK, anyway? Because they speak fucking English? Do they care about our holidays? No, they understand that you should mind your own goddamned business (I don't judge the rest of the UK by Tony Blair, obviously). The UK is across the ocean, for God's sake! I'm sure they don't care about holidays they don't get off work from any more than I do. Its not that I don't like the UK, I think they're great blokes (ha ha), but I don't need that sort of confusion in my life, you know?
Besides, if you're going to include some people, you should include them all. You can't just go around including Malaysia, Japan, China, Germany, Italy, France, the UK, Canada, Mexico, etc. You have to include Moldova's Day of the Republic on September 2nd & Caricom Day, July 1st in Guyana? And what about Native American holidays? Its bad enough that we stole their land, we can't even include them in our calendars when we're including everyone else?
So let's remember what we learned in kindergarten: if you don't bring enough for everyone, don't bring any at all.
But today, I would like to shed light upon a discrimination that is quite overlooked, at least as far as Google and I can tell: "holiday discrimination." (the term only gets about 25 hits on Google, whereas "racial discrimination" gets 780,000, "age discrimination" 420,000, and "sexual discrimination" about 130,000.)
As I was perusing my calendar recently to see when Easter was, I noticed that Daylight Savings Time started on the same day, which I thought was kind of convenient, at least for my stoned ass. So, when I woke up today, I thought I had missed resetting my alarm and was an hour late getting on the road, which naturally pissed me off a little bit.
After freaking out for 10 minutes wondering why my computer and my satellite hadn't reset themselves like they normally do (which, frankly, is how I usually find out about Daylight Savings), I stomped up to the calendar, demanding to know what was going on...and that's when I noticed the italicized text below "Daylight Savings Begins" that read "U.K. only." Oh. And I suppose that's why it was italicized, huh? So I could fucking see it? Why the hell is the UK Daylight Savings Time on my fucking calendar?
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to know that Argentina's Holy Thursday is the 24th of March, the 26th of May is Corpus Christi in Germany, Liberation Day for Italy is April 25th, or Malaysia's Federal Territory Day is the 1st of February. But really, do we need these thing cluttering up our calendars?
I'm not saying that a few other holidays aren't a good thing, but really, I think in the interest of efficiency, we should make an effort to make calendars for specific people. We're just globalizing for no fucking reason. If I have to have Canadian and Mexican holidays on my calendar, I can deal with that, they're at least on the same continent as us, you can expect a little bit of globalization, but Argentina? Malaysia? Are we only including them because they make our crappy products for pennies on the dollar and the least we can do for them is include their holidays in the calendars they make? I'm sure that warms all the hearts of the underpaid and overworked 10-year-olds in the factories.
Why do we include the UK, anyway? Because they speak fucking English? Do they care about our holidays? No, they understand that you should mind your own goddamned business (I don't judge the rest of the UK by Tony Blair, obviously). The UK is across the ocean, for God's sake! I'm sure they don't care about holidays they don't get off work from any more than I do. Its not that I don't like the UK, I think they're great blokes (ha ha), but I don't need that sort of confusion in my life, you know?
Besides, if you're going to include some people, you should include them all. You can't just go around including Malaysia, Japan, China, Germany, Italy, France, the UK, Canada, Mexico, etc. You have to include Moldova's Day of the Republic on September 2nd & Caricom Day, July 1st in Guyana? And what about Native American holidays? Its bad enough that we stole their land, we can't even include them in our calendars when we're including everyone else?
So let's remember what we learned in kindergarten: if you don't bring enough for everyone, don't bring any at all.
I'm suddenly a Conservative!
Wow. And I thought the biggest idiots were in the government. This guy says in 20 years the world will realize what a wonderful president Bush is, how we needed to "protect democracy" and how the war in Iraq "saved the world." (No, I'm not kidding.) And you can't argue with him, I mean, his Blog name is "Chris is Omniscent."
He probably isn't all wrong though. When Reagan died, people hailed him as the "greatest president of the 20th century" (never mind Teddy Roosevelt's unparalleled fight for conservation of nature or Clinton's near-erasure of the national debt in only 6 years) and they weren't too happy with him when he was in the seat of power. I mean, "Chris" is definitely wrong, since Bush is a sucky president, but people will see it differntly in 20 years.
Maybe it works for the little people too. Maybe I'll be cool when I go back for my 20th high school reunion. Don't they say hindsight is 20/20? Yeah. We'll see in 20 years.
He probably isn't all wrong though. When Reagan died, people hailed him as the "greatest president of the 20th century" (never mind Teddy Roosevelt's unparalleled fight for conservation of nature or Clinton's near-erasure of the national debt in only 6 years) and they weren't too happy with him when he was in the seat of power. I mean, "Chris" is definitely wrong, since Bush is a sucky president, but people will see it differntly in 20 years.
Maybe it works for the little people too. Maybe I'll be cool when I go back for my 20th high school reunion. Don't they say hindsight is 20/20? Yeah. We'll see in 20 years.
3.26.2005
Prayer Rug
I got my very own St. Matthew's prayer rug today, and I'm disappointed in several things. One, its not a rug. I mean, I knew that from the descriptions (One, Two, Three) but it was still rather depressing. I mean, don't I deserve an actual rug? I was also disappointed with the lack of prayer needs options. I mean, there was absolutely no option for "Stopping these ridiculously stupid people from scamming even stupider people." So, I had to write it in. I mean, if God was really sending me a prayer rug, don't you think he should have personalized it? He can make the world in 6 days but he can't put a little effort into a lousy prayer rug? Sheesh. And I'm a little wary about the testimonials. Everyone prays for something like $5,000 and they always get $7824.39. Its always some weird-ass number with change. What the hell? Is God charging sales tax? Shipping and handling? Can't he fucking round? I want even numbered payments, thank you.
So, I'm punishing everyone by not sending my prayer rug to another house that needs its blessing. Fuck you! You want a prayer rug? Pray for it! Maybe God will listen to you; he's sure not listening to me.
So, I'm punishing everyone by not sending my prayer rug to another house that needs its blessing. Fuck you! You want a prayer rug? Pray for it! Maybe God will listen to you; he's sure not listening to me.
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