Drive-By Truckers concert

Well, we're off to the Drive-By Truckers concert in Columbia, MO at the Blue Note. Tickets were only $12, which is pretty damn good these days. I'm looking forward to the concert. Until the update, check out DBT at the official site.

Don't press that button!

Look, seriously, don't press the "Next Blog" button in the NavBar at the top of Blogger blogs. I've found that most of those blogs are just junk blogs, like the junk domains that simply list bullshit keywords over and over and over again, and don't even have any good links to the information anyway. Shit, if they were better than Google, I could almost understand it, but they never have any good info. But seriously, I spent like 15 minutes clicking "Next Blog" and I saw 2 "real" Blogs. Someone should put a stop to it, but there's no way you could enforce something like that. You'd have to have someone/thing reading the posted content for similarities to other posts, and that would cost money, which would eventually end up costing us, the users. Perhaps we need some nice hackers that will fix the problem for us....

I forgot to mention it...

...but my cat broke her leg. :-( To be more accurate, she broke her elbow. Imagine you slamming your elbow down on the table and breaking off the tip of it, and you'll understand how my cat feels. The vet set her leg with two pins and wire, gave her drugs, and said she'll have a cast on for ten weeks (that should give you an idea of the seriousness of the break). I took her in today to get the sutures out (its been 16 days), and the vet found out that the cat has somehow moved her broken leg around in the cast and has moved the bone fragment about half an inch. That's half an inch of pins and wires. So, I have to spend another huge amount of money (first operation: $500) and get her leg reset. All because the damned cat isn't smart enough to get out of the way of large moving objects, since I think our neighbors hit her with a four-wheeler. The things we do for our animals, you know? At least they aren't kids who will grow up, take your money, talk back to you, move out, then refuse to call. And if the cats do something bad, you can lock them in a room for a couple of hours and Social Services won't call you an "unfit parent." Pets are so much better than kids. Not that I would know, since I don't have any, but all the ones I know are way worse than my plethora of cats.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?

Why is Blogger acting up so strangely? I've posted twice in the last three minutes, republished my entire blog, and still the post isn't showing up. What the goddamned hell is goin on here?????

Murphy's Law...of suckiness!

I had a long post here, and Blogger decided that I didn't need to post it. I fucking hate computers.

It was a huge rant about the upcoming Growl concert we're trying to put on and how much it is not coming together, but I guess the powers that be didn't like the tone of the article or some such crap, so they erased it as it was publishing. How do you like that? What the fuck? Murphy, you fucking creep, quit jinxing me so many years after the fact!

Long story short about the concert, the lineup has changed so many times due to the bands' family issues, signing issues, or just plain issues that I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore, except that Fallen From the Nest will be headlining and Business/Casualty will be playing second-to-last. If you're a band in the Springfield, MO area and want to be a part of this great oppotunity, email me at xtoqster[at]gmail[dot]com.

In other news, my mom's cat is going to have kittens. Want one? Email me. They should be here in about 3 weeks, and you could have them in 9 weeks. Get them while they last (free of course).

Calendar Discrimination

Every day each of us, no matter our race, gender, or station in life, faces discrimination in some form. Much of it is subtle, much is systematic. We strive as individuals, communities, businesses, and nations to eradicate inequality wherever we may find it; to root it out and stab it in the neck with the pitchfork of equality until its terrified squeeks die away, then toss it on the burn pile with last night's garbage and have a beer while we watch the flames.

But today, I would like to shed light upon a discrimination that is quite overlooked, at least as far as Google and I can tell: "holiday discrimination." (the term only gets about 25 hits on Google, whereas "racial discrimination" gets 780,000, "age discrimination" 420,000, and "sexual discrimination" about 130,000.)

As I was perusing my calendar recently to see when Easter was, I noticed that Daylight Savings Time started on the same day, which I thought was kind of convenient, at least for my stoned ass. So, when I woke up today, I thought I had missed resetting my alarm and was an hour late getting on the road, which naturally pissed me off a little bit.

After freaking out for 10 minutes wondering why my computer and my satellite hadn't reset themselves like they normally do (which, frankly, is how I usually find out about Daylight Savings), I stomped up to the calendar, demanding to know what was going on...and that's when I noticed the italicized text below "Daylight Savings Begins" that read "U.K. only." Oh. And I suppose that's why it was italicized, huh? So I could fucking see it? Why the hell is the UK Daylight Savings Time on my fucking calendar?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to know that Argentina's Holy Thursday is the 24th of March, the 26th of May is Corpus Christi in Germany, Liberation Day for Italy is April 25th, or Malaysia's Federal Territory Day is the 1st of February. But really, do we need these thing cluttering up our calendars?

I'm not saying that a few other holidays aren't a good thing, but really, I think in the interest of efficiency, we should make an effort to make calendars for specific people. We're just globalizing for no fucking reason. If I have to have Canadian and Mexican holidays on my calendar, I can deal with that, they're at least on the same continent as us, you can expect a little bit of globalization, but Argentina? Malaysia? Are we only including them because they make our crappy products for pennies on the dollar and the least we can do for them is include their holidays in the calendars they make? I'm sure that warms all the hearts of the underpaid and overworked 10-year-olds in the factories.

Why do we include the UK, anyway? Because they speak fucking English? Do they care about our holidays? No, they understand that you should mind your own goddamned business (I don't judge the rest of the UK by Tony Blair, obviously). The UK is across the ocean, for God's sake! I'm sure they don't care about holidays they don't get off work from any more than I do. Its not that I don't like the UK, I think they're great blokes (ha ha), but I don't need that sort of confusion in my life, you know?

Besides, if you're going to include some people, you should include them all. You can't just go around including Malaysia, Japan, China, Germany, Italy, France, the UK, Canada, Mexico, etc. You have to include Moldova's Day of the Republic on September 2nd & Caricom Day, July 1st in Guyana? And what about Native American holidays? Its bad enough that we stole their land, we can't even include them in our calendars when we're including everyone else?

So let's remember what we learned in kindergarten: if you don't bring enough for everyone, don't bring any at all.

I'm suddenly a Conservative!

Wow. And I thought the biggest idiots were in the government. This guy says in 20 years the world will realize what a wonderful president Bush is, how we needed to "protect democracy" and how the war in Iraq "saved the world." (No, I'm not kidding.) And you can't argue with him, I mean, his Blog name is "Chris is Omniscent."

He probably isn't all wrong though. When Reagan died, people hailed him as the "greatest president of the 20th century" (never mind Teddy Roosevelt's unparalleled fight for conservation of nature or Clinton's near-erasure of the national debt in only 6 years) and they weren't too happy with him when he was in the seat of power. I mean, "Chris" is definitely wrong, since Bush is a sucky president, but people will see it differntly in 20 years.

Maybe it works for the little people too. Maybe I'll be cool when I go back for my 20th high school reunion. Don't they say hindsight is 20/20? Yeah. We'll see in 20 years.

Prayer Rug

I got my very own St. Matthew's prayer rug today, and I'm disappointed in several things. One, its not a rug. I mean, I knew that from the descriptions (One, Two, Three) but it was still rather depressing. I mean, don't I deserve an actual rug? I was also disappointed with the lack of prayer needs options. I mean, there was absolutely no option for "Stopping these ridiculously stupid people from scamming even stupider people." So, I had to write it in. I mean, if God was really sending me a prayer rug, don't you think he should have personalized it? He can make the world in 6 days but he can't put a little effort into a lousy prayer rug? Sheesh. And I'm a little wary about the testimonials. Everyone prays for something like $5,000 and they always get $7824.39. Its always some weird-ass number with change. What the hell? Is God charging sales tax? Shipping and handling? Can't he fucking round? I want even numbered payments, thank you.

So, I'm punishing everyone by not sending my prayer rug to another house that needs its blessing. Fuck you! You want a prayer rug? Pray for it! Maybe God will listen to you; he's sure not listening to me.

Missing Kids + Junk Mail = America!

Does anyone else get these missing kid circulars in the mail? Have you ever looked at the fine print? Let me enlighten you:

"Postal Service Regulations require that this [missing kid circular] be delivered together with its accompanying postage paid mail advertisements. If you should receive this card without its accompanying mail, please notify your local postmaster."

Now, I'm not against the missing kid thing, if it helps one kid get back safely, I think its worth it. But I think its disturbing that these circulars can only be distributed with junk mail. How capitalistic! How American! I'm so proud.

Politically Correct

Just one more. I couldn't resist linking to this: "Now I'm not one to be PC, the term alone is enough to make me want to beat a Muslim with a fetus."

Brilliant. Pure brilliance.

***UPDATE!*** St. Matthew's Church is so fucking Christian!

Seriously, are we living in a police state or what?

I know this is old news, but I hadn't seen this picture when I heard about the incident. I can understand why now, of course Fox News and the rest of Conservative (not necessarily Republican) America would want to keep pictures and people like this quiet. I mean, that girl looks all of 25 or 26. I'm sure she's a danger.

From Wikipedia: 'Thus "non-lethal force" may have some risk of causing death: in this context "non-lethal" only means "not intended to kill".' Ohhhh, that makes me feel soooooo much better.



And "non-lethal" doesn't necessarily mean "not painful." I guess those protestors should be grateful that the police didn't open fire with lethal bullets. I mean, clearly the police were justified in using "non-lethal" weapons. Really. This totally seems like a riot.

Pirate Focus Group

Today, I woke up in my warm, dry bed, and my first thought was, "What kind of pirate am I?" Now, like many "land lubbers," I was unsure of where to start to research what kind of pirate I might be. After exhaustive research at MSU's library and the city one, I tried the internet. I found many fan pages for pirates, many pictures of pirates, and many accounts of past pirates. Well, that will help me decide what kind of pirate I want to be, but not really what kind of pirate I am. Dejected and about to give up, I turned to my good friends at Rum & Monkey for some relaxation before delving once again into my research. Lo and behold, but what do I find but exactly what I was looking for - a way to find out what kind of pirate I am.

But, its not as easy as I thought. Oh no! I cannot simply research and discover what kind of pirate I am, I must conduct a study. So I thought, well, I have a blog that I don't use much, surely I can get some feedback there...so here we go. Welcome to my Pirate Focus Group.

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

History can't repeat itself

"I wish foresight were 10...no 5% as good as hindsight." That's what C said to me on the way to class this morning. We were driving by Linden on Highway 125 and I was craning my neck around trying to find evidence of the old Lindenlure Hotel that used to stand on the shore of the Finley River there. Despite having graduated not five miles from the location, I never knew there used to be anything of importance at Linden. As far as I knew, it was merely a great swimming place and that, for some inexplicable reason, someone had created a small waterfall. Old photos from the late 19th and early 20th centuries show a very different Linden than the one I have driven past every day for at least a decade. Linden today is simply that: Linden. A swimming hole, a waterfall, and a lot of houses dotting the north eastern banks. Kids swimming, teenagers drinking, a typical rural waterin' hole. But when Linden was first settled (and don't think its a town now...noooo, it's a place on a map; there is no zip code), there was a mill and the Lindenlure Hotel to welcome people on their way to to Springfield or Rogersville from Sparta and Ozark. Today, not even a foundation remains to tell you where the main building or even one of the cabins of the hotel stood a century ago. A handmade rock foundation slowly crumbling into the river with every passing year and rainstorm is the only thing remaining of the mill that once shared this wide stretch of river with the inn.

Yesterday, at a new bookstore in Ozark, I found a great book called "A History of Christian County: the First One Hundred Years." In it, I found an upsetting picture. There in black and white on a glossy inner page, stood a two-story hotel in Sparta, my hometown. "The Sparta Hotel" the caption proclaimed, "1899." I grew up in Sparta, I was a "13-year senior" at Sparta Schools. I have never heard of a Sparta Hotel. I have never heard of the Lindenlure Hotel. Why was my education lacking in the most basic of information, that of my environment? Why must we learn Missouri History but not that of our home? Why must we take it upon ourselves?

This sort of disregard for history and past generations bothers me more than any other single issue in Western culture. Certainly, one can argue that looking toward the past constantly can cause you to trip over the present, but staring into the dark and uncertain future is certain to cause vision problems. Perhaps we need to look over our shoulder every once in a while, even sit and stare at the past briefly.

Spelling Lesson

Spelling Lesson
Originally uploaded by xtoq.

This is outside a friend of mine's house in Springfield, Missouri. Guess that means I can have the last load in whenever I want.

Chambers

Well, you've heard about him, so now you get to see him. My boyfriend, Chambers! He's pretty drunk in this picture, and he doesn't really believe in taking pictures, so you have to excuse his weird look. Oh wait, never mind. That is what he looks like. :-) I'm sure you'll hear more about him later.

Ahh, my faith in the justice system is not misplaced

"The dog was friendly enough and probably would have been a very cooperative witness." Yes, this is exactly what the founding fathers had in mind.

"Nobody wants to see some girl tap-dance or play the violin."

Did you hear that Donald Trump is thinking of buying the Miss America pagent? Apparantly, the pagent isn't doing so well since Trump started the rival Miss USA extravaganza, and not a single network has signed the Miss America pagent for this year, making the possibility of it becoming a reality TV show, well, a reality. I think he'll be successful; considering the country's infatuation with skinny, vapid women, his ideas will probably spice up the old pagent's ratings. But is nothing sacred? Will we truly never hear the dulcet tones of the intellect-impaired beauties wishing for world peace again?

I'm not worthless!

I'm worth $1,725,362.00! How much are you worth?

I found it on eBay!

Okay, I want to make a fuckton of money from idiots on eBay. There are so many stupid things for sale on eBay, I can't believe that people actually pay for them. I've decided to share some of them with you:

Parrot Shit sculpture
Holy shit...
Sister's Diary

FaceBook is made with crack

That is the only explanation. People skip class to search shit on FaceBook. Can you believe that? I mean, I skip class for less, but at least I'm not on FaceBook. Fuck. Get a rehab program.

The more you know...

This is the Terms of Service (TOS) for AOL services, including AIM. Check this out:

"Although you or the owner of the Content retain ownership of all right, title and interest in Content that you post to any AIM Product, AOL owns all right, title and interest in any compilation, collective work or other derivative work created by AOL using or incorporating this Content. In addition, by posting Content on an AIM Product, you grant AOL, its parent, affiliates, subsidiaries, assigns, agents and licensees the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide right to reproduce, display, perform, distribute, adapt and promote this Content in any medium. You waive any right to privacy. You waive any right to inspect or approve uses of the Content or to be compensated for any such uses."

That's under "Content you Post" on the TOS page, BTW. Thought I would share with everyone I knew.

UPDATE:
Because of the blogfire this weekend about AOL's TOS, the company announced today that they will revise the wording to make it clearer. Supposedly, they meant the wording to apply specifically to "Rate-a-Buddy!", but applied it to all AOL products instead. Look for revised TOS at the first link soon.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yay! I'm old enough to be a classic car now. How fucking jolly. My insurance rates dropped, so I guess it's not a total letdown. Fuck. Oh well, I guess I'm old now. Kids will make fun of me, I'll start driving slower (!), and I'll begin to start sentances with "When I was your age..." regardless of topic, and I'll carry on unrelated conversation with people who have been dead for years.

SMSU is now MSU!

Yay! For those who don't know, Southwest Missouri State University (SMSU), where I attend school, will soon be Missouri State University (MSU). The bill was passed in the Missouri Senate on March 1, 2005, and the bill will go into effect on August 28, 2005.

All this is well and good, but Ike the Yeti owes me a lunch. I told him last year that the name change wouldn't go through until Kaiser's last year. I mean think about it, why wouldn't he want to retire giving the campus what it's wanted for 20 years? Yeti said that I was cynical and it would pass last year. Guess who was right? Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!